Two

I can't sleep because my thoughts are confused
What was one before has now become two
And I can't overlay, combine those two anymore
Making it hard to concentrate on sleeping

I see myself in the first one
And almost fall asleep concentrating on it
When the second thought catches my attention
Pulling me with it

Before, I was having trouble with sleeping, too,
But now I have two people keeping me up
Two parts of me that had been one me
And now my ambivalence is showing through

Two things, two parts at the same time
I thought I was doing pretty well
When they were combined, intertwined, connected
That shifted when I let go of control, of me

Now it feels like a river let loose,
Freed from its shackles it turns here and there
Its currents part and mingle again
Each current a current with a life of its own

I try to follow each of the parts that were me
Holding on, trying to see just one
But it's moving on, this river of me
My currents have been let loose, set free

I wonder if this flow is permanent
And I don't know if I should wish for that or not
When somehow I feel different and odd and changed and all wrong
Am I still me, or could I be Two,
two currents, parts of a river of me?